29: The Real Reason You Can’t “Figure It Out” Right Now

What if the reason you can’t “figure it out” right now…
isn’t because you’re missing the right strategy?

What if it’s because your system isn’t ready to hold what you’re asking for?

In this short, raw, and real-time episode of (re)Parenting Radio, Lisa shares from the middle of her own transition—navigating identity shifts, uncertainty, pressure, and the very human desire to “move the needle.”

But instead of offering another plan…
she offers a different lens.

Because clarity doesn’t come from forcing answers.
It comes from building the capacity to hold what’s next.

Inside this episode, Lisa explores:

• Why the question “What’s my next move?” can actually keep you stuck
• The hidden belief that “a plan = safety”
• How your nervous system determines what you can receive and sustain
• The concept of the identity gap (where old patterns no longer fit, but new ones aren’t fully stabilized)
• What it really means to build emotional and energetic capacity
• Why slowing down, illness, or lack of clarity may not be setbacks—but signals
• A powerful reframe: capacity creates clarity

If you’ve been feeling in-between, uncertain, or like you should have it figured out by now—This episode will meet you exactly where you are.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Reparenting Radio. I'm Lisa Watson, Architect of Human Transformation. This is a space for leaders, parents, and anyone ready to break old patterns, regulate their nervous system, and show up in their life with clarity and self-trust. If you're ready to change the way you lead, love, and live, you're in the right place. Let's begin. Hello and welcome back to Reparenting Radio. My voice is a little bit gone right now, which feels honestly kind of perfect for what I'm going to talk about today. Because this episode, excuse me, but it isn't coming from a place of being fully clear or necessarily fully energized or having everything figured out. This is coming from a place of sort of being in the middle and being in it, you know, in transition. And I have a feeling that some of you may also be feeling that way, too. I uh I just got back from a weekend in Mexico. I went there to support my husband. He's building an app right now. And the V Zero version just came out, and I went there to support him in that. And being there back in that environment, back to my home that I lived at for four years, it stirred, it stirred some things in me because it's a place that it holds a version of me that I'm no longer fully in. And coming back from that into where I am now here in California, I can feel how much is shifting. I'm in a really transitional space in my life. And at the same time, there's this very real, very humid layer of I need to make money, I need to move things forward, I need to figure this out. And if I'm being honest, which I am, there are moments where I'm kind of like, how do I actually move the needle right now? And usually when we find ourselves in this type of place, this space, the question that we ask is, what's my next move? What's the plan? What strategy am I missing? And what do I need to do differently? You know, what's gonna move the needle? And all those questions, they make they make sense, but because we've been trained to believe that clarity comes from action, that if we could just figure out the right steps, everything would start to work. But what's been landing for me lately is that I don't actually need a better plan right now. I need more capacity. And that's a different conversation. Most of us are operating from this unconscious belief that if I have a plan, I'll be safe. If I have clarity, I'll feel regulated. If I have safety and security, everything will be great. If I know what I'm doing, I can relax. But what I'm starting to realize is you can have the best plan in the world. And if your system doesn't feel safe holding what that plan requires, you will stall. You will avoid. You will overthink and procrastinate and second guess yourself. Not because of any other reason than your system is just trying to protect you from what it is used to, from the identity that you have been. So instead of asking, what's the plan? I've been sitting with a different question. What can I actually hold right now? Emotionally, mentally, energetically. Because capacity isn't about doing more. It's about being able to stay regulated while holding more. More visibility, more responsibility, more money, more uncertainty, more growth. Capacity looks like can I sit in the unknown without rushing to escape it? Can I feel pressure without immediately trying to fix it? Can I take action without attaching my worth to the outcome? That's a tough one. And can I be seen without collapsing or overperforming? Can I hold expansion without needing to control every part of it? Because if the answer is no, your system will unconsciously keep you in a range that feels safe, even if your mind, your brain, your desire wants more. And trust me, I'm really living this right now because there's a version of me that knows exactly who I am. I know the depth of my work. I know what I'm here to do. I know I'm meant to continue leading at a high level. And at the same time, there's another part of me that's like, okay, but how are we going to get a new client this week? And that's tension. It doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong or I'm off track. It just means that I'm in an identity gap. Where my old way of operating, it doesn't fully fit anymore. But my new way isn't fully stabilized yet. And instead of making that wrong, I'm starting to see it as building capacity. Clarity doesn't create capacity. Capacity creates clarity. And when your system feels safe, when your nervous system is regulated, when you're not operating from urgency or fear, that's when the next step becomes obvious. It's not rushed, it's not forced. You're not grasping at anything. It's just clear. And my body, it is showing me in real time right now because I clearly don't have a full voice or a clear voice. And there's a version of me that could make this mean something. You know, I'm off, I'm behind. I I shouldn't be recording this podcast today. I sound terrible. But what what if this illness that I have taken on this week? What if it's not a setback? What if it's my body just asking me to slow down, asking me to regulate, to expand my capacity before the next level opens? Because our bodies are highly intelligent, and they're letting us know and guiding us always. And an illness doesn't have to be inconvenient, it's just information. And that information is usually telling you it's time to take a break. So maybe the question isn't what's my next move? Maybe the question is what can I safely hold right now? Because our lives are not going to expand past what our system feels safe in sustaining. And if you can build that, if you can increase your capacity, you won't need to chase clarity. You'll become the version of you that can hold it when it arrives. And if you're in a season like this where things feel unclear or slow or you're in between, trust me, you're not doing it wrong. You might just be expanding your capacity. And that is the work. The journey is the destination. Remember that. I'm gonna leave you with that today in this short little episode, um, as my voice can't really take much more. I appreciate you being with me, and I look forward to speaking with you again next week. Have a beautiful week, all of you. Thank you. Thank you for listening to Reparenting Radio. If today's conversation supported you, take a moment to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who knows they were made for more than the patterns that they inherited. If you're ready for serious inner work and real transformation, personally or professionally, you can explore my leadership pathways at Lisa-Watson.com. And if you're raising little ones alongside your own healing, you'll find my children's books at awakintheone.org. Until next time, stay grounded, stay open, and keep reparenting the parts of you that are ready to come home to their authenticity.